Happy Earth Day Citizens of the Planet!

One of my favorite days, because there is usually a gardening thing to do. My plants died but I have this little seed kit to plant. I have not written at all, because I’ve been doing exercises for Borderline Personality Disorder that have made me very excited to not be in trouble for taking care of myself. That sounds silly, but I have literally had someone tell me I couldn’t do sensual stuff like take a soaking bath because it’s a sin.

I would love to never speak to that person again, but I am going to forgive them and not talk to them as much. I don’t have to associate with someone who guilts me for relaxing as a mortal sin. Honestly, I don’t know why I let this crazy stuff slide so much. It’s not Mom! lol

Anyway, I am going to enjoy the rest of this earth day and give myself a darn break. Have a good one!

Alkaline Vegan Diet with Supplements

I can’t eat acid anymore, so I’m going to have to eat alkaline vegan. I’m scared, but hopefully I will not get too low of a blood count taking supplements like I’m supposed to take. I have to give up acid producing food. It’s been a nightmare for sleep.

My allergy people have told me to eat alkaline. I think it might help a lot. I’m posting all my thoughts, but maybe it will save my life. It’s worth a shot.

Nixing Recipe Day

I can’t think straight, so I will have to nix recipe day. I was excited, but I can’t figure out how to eat. All the diets are wrong. I don’t know. I’m really sick.

I can’t think and I can’t recall things. I need help pretty bad. This Friday I have a pulmonology appointment. Hopefully I will be able to get this CPAP business behind me. Wish me luck and pray for me.

Starting Therapy

I have never got down to the source of my issues so I think that therapy will help. I got set up today. Hopefully I will stop trying to solve my own problems.

I have been solving my own problems for so long that I haven’t solved them. I have to let go and let someone help me. I have some resilience from what they acted like, but I really have to distract myself. This blog has been really helpful with that. I will keep logging. I was thinking about talking about stuff in a podcast, but I think I will save that for therapy.

Fad Diets: Paleo

The Paleo diet touts the idea that the caveman (who does not exist) ate in a way that we were supposed to eat and we have somehow never evolved past this. It is pretty easy to follow just meat and veggies. Sometimes you can have fruit, nuts, and seeds. It’s actually not too bad of a diet, but I feel like you kind of need carbs. My grandpa did Atkins which is the first step to this diet and had a heart attack. Basically the start of it is Keto. Two weeks of Keto then just Paleo.

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Sad Poet Saturday: Philia

I have no friends to give love to in this moment. It’s an internet of things.

Video games for companionship is like using an avatar to live. Just like the movie.

This shot is the sexy thing to do now. Lots of people are into it. My family are Christian radicals stuck on Revelation. This doesn’t seem like the end to me. One shot down another in a week.

Maybe I can be with my friends without masks and six feet once again. C’mon shot two! C’mon…

Today Years Old…

I was today years old when I found out I had borderline personality disorder on top of schizoaffective disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression. Yeah, that’s a lot. But I thought my depression was just depression. Basically, I feel so much that I can’t really stop feelings. I am super relational and it’s so hard for me to be alone.

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