I am taking a mental health break from blogging. The subject matter is sorta touchy for me. I think I might revamp the blog and rename it, but for now it is currently closed. Hiatus is on until I figure out what to do for a blog.
Celebrate all mothers today! Those that lost and those that have kids! Happy Mother’s Day from Joy!
Every Mother’s Day I remember their conception. Every Mother’s Day I remember that feeling under my ribs. Every Mother’s Day I remember my children. I don’t deserve to say that.
I lost you babies. I lost my mind too. I lost a piece of my heart. I think about it all day every day, but especially this day. If I’m not disassociating I’m crying or numb. I wish I knew what you looked like.
This Mother’s Day, I accept myself as a mother. Because it’s their loss that drove me down a dark path. The loss of their fathers too. But this Mother’s Day you are my children and I will see you someday soon.
I had a patch test Wednesday and today is the last day of the test. Everything is cleared up except balsam of peru. I mostly can’t have sweets and have to be careful about products that are scented. I don’t have to avoid any fabrics. That’s happy! I need to get on that though, all of this fabric I bought needs to be something.
It’s in vanilla, clove and cinnamon. So I can’t really have baked goods. It’s also in tomatoes, basil, wheat, rye, and citrus peels. It’s no joke. It’s not as severe, but it’s enough to give me a purple spot.
We have had quite a problem with our fridge starting to stop working. I think this is why I had an infection and got sick. We should be fixing that soon.
Do you know anything that I should avoid for balsam of peru? Let me know in the comments.
Final answer was Balsam of Peru and Colophony. Basically tons of trees.
I have a new novel in the works for a scientist who thinks that the town should be run by neurodiverse people, but it goes well. I hope you enjoy that novel when it’s finished.
I have had a problem with getting into my locked files, so I will have to rewrite them, but this book was a prompt that I found online. I thought it would be a great book. I know and love many neurodiverse people so this should be great. They need representation too.
The scifi novel is going to be written still. I am just writing many novels at once. Tell me which neurodiverse people to include in the comments.
Recently, as in the past few years, I have been quietly mourning the babies I lost. This is my hostile uterus.
The nature of God in essence and attributes as according to “Lectures in Systematic Theology” are as follows: God is immaterial and not human, invisible, alive, a person, self-exists, is immense and is eternal in essence and His natural attributes are omnipresence, omnipotence, unchanging, holy, righteous and just, good, and true. I think this is the best description of God I have read that captures what God is about.
Everything I know about God is completely based on experience. So my opinion of what God is not different from this, but I don’t really think I grasp God and I don’t feel like an authority on God. I think though that I have just recently started to see who God is in comparison to who the devil is and that’s a whole other blog.Continue reading “Everything I Know about God”
SUCKS! I have so many problems keeping my blood up. I am learning to take gentle iron everyday, but sometimes it doesn’t do the job. Having iron-rich blood is super hard. I have to eat red meat sometimes. I have tried all the iron things except Floradix which I hear is the Gold Standard in iron. I just don’t want to shell out so much, but it might be worth it.
This is what I do:
Take 27 mg of Iron and 800 mcg to 1 g of Folic Acid every morning. I’m sure to get beef once or twice a week. You can’t overdo iron so don’t go over that. It makes me weak all week when I go overboard on iron. Make sure you are not letting it immobilize you and that you are at least getting something done around the house everyday. That is the bare minimum. Eat lots of Calcium for your marrow to gets some fuel as well. You need to take extra good care of your bone health because it’s the source of the issue. Broccoli is my favorite vegetable because you can eat lots of it and get calcium and vitamin C. The vitamin C makes the iron absorb. Get lots of greens too. GREENS YOUR BRAINS OUT! I have them regularly and when I was down South it was very attainable.
There is not a lot you can do other than try to make it work. I have had a very hard time and I have low energy days. Don’t think you can’t rest. It’s totally fine to take a break with this blood disorder. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. In fact, that is what they suggest if you get weak. It can hurt you to be active cause it can cause a drop in oxygen. I have a hard time with drops in oxygen. Lots of water.
I sometimes used to rely on caffeine to get me through the day, but that wears on you. I don’t suggest following my example there.
If you have it what works for you?
I have Thalassemia Minor and while it’s a lighter case of Thalassemia it is not easy. I have to be careful what I do because of it. I can’t go up high, I can’t donate blood, I can’t have too much iron. Though I have Iron Deficiency Anemia on top of it and it’s like having Alpha sometimes. I have come close to blood transfusion levels dozens of times.
I take some gentle iron now everyday, but I still get lightheaded and faint sometimes. Though I have become an expert at catching myself before I fall. It’s a disease that is caused my a birth defect in the marrow that causes it to be hollow or barely in there. It makes small malformed blood cells and they are super hard to keep up. Especially if you try to eat vegan to lessen the iron. It’s a nightmare!
I’d like to raise awareness for all of us Mediterranean/West Asian descent people who have it. We have quite the issue. I hope you find me this month and connect! If you want to help the cause please donate blood! There are a lot of people you could help with it regardless of your reason.
One thing I’ve wanted to do my entire life was give blood.
Burgers before. Spinach before. No good.
I hit 30 and weakness sets in. What on Earth is this? I have never been vital. I have never been “peak”. But weakness now?
Diagnosis: Beta Thalassemia. My bones are empty. My blood is tiny. I can never give blood.
I guess that takes it off the bucket list…