I have been sick lately and I finally will get an allergy test on my skin for food and environmental allergies! WOO! But on top of that I have been really sick and unable to really move around. My GERD is so bad that I can’t sleep with my CPAP machine. I will be seeing my pulmonologist Monday and we will be talking about alternatives. I will also be seeing a gastro for a endoscopy again. He thinks I should because I could get cancer if I’m not careful.
I really have to push it and start doing stuff anyway. Within reason. I’m not going to force myself to faint or go so hard I puke, but I will wear myself out a little more. The doctor thinks that I am fat and have energy problems because I’m fat. Thing is though, I have been super fat before and had the energy to do much more, but I think maybe the former smoking and sleep apnea really harmed me. So I have to take a breathing test. I will be doing that soon.
I have so much to deal with that I get really depressed a lot. I think that I will be talking to my psych doctor soon, but I really need to push past depression or just stop myself from dwellling on things. Easier said than done, but it is a lot of issues and not just being fat. I hate that it’s always “you’re fat” first. Yes. I’m fat. But fat does not mean helpless. I have been very active. I am wearing down. I think it’s the sleep apnea added to everything honestly. I had to get bloodwork because of my Thal, but I’m starting to think I need to change my ideas for leaky gut. I need eggs for mental health and hemoglobin. I need beef for hemoglobin. Beans are not giving me the hemoglobin I need.
SO fun stuff with lots of issues. I am starting to hallucinate during phone calls, so I have to go in person now. This pandemic has made it really hard, but the thing I misheard was something he said wasn’t a terrible idea. Leaky gut to the best of my ability with eggs unless we find out I’m allergic next week. lol What a freaking nightmare getting a handle on everything has been, but I have hope that I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope anyway.